3 months, quarter of a year……..what happened?

So I shared the story of my son and brother in law right? Well brother in law (BiL) and his son are in jail waiting for their prison sentence. That’s good right? 

Prior to being in jail. BiL called up amazon, they’re a tenant where hubby works, where my son was attacked next door. BiL tells amazon hubby stole thousands of dollars of laptops from work. Which is impossible to do, but Amazon had to do their investigation.  BiL, also called police that hubby was the money behind the drugs, so another investigation.  Thank goodness we are as clean of people as could be. But it’s the point, you know? It’s the thought that for the time being our name is in doubt. 

I care about my reputation.  We both do. It takes years to build a good one, but a second to destroy it.  We both knew that nothing would happen, but it’s the whole fact of the matter. You start FEELING like you did wrong.

Anyway that’s done, Hubby has his kidneys stones. Guess what? 5 Times!!!! He went 6x into the emergency room. Was hospitalized 5 times, and had 4 surgeries. All in 3 weeks. The first surgery they thought hubby was having a heart attack.  That was so scary. He also hemorrhaged really bad. Stayed 3 nights at the hospital. 2 surgery he went home  just to go back the next day for hemorrhaging again. 3rd surgery, 2 nights in hospital. 4th surgery overnight, and 5th he went home. A week later years was back in the hospital with his brain anorism hemorrhaged. Hospital for 3 nights, they couldn’t stabilize him for 26 hours.

During one of his hospital stays our son in law (SiL) gets drunk at work, harasses amazon, and hubby has to fire him. Now we are 2 guys short. Our daughter has enough and is divorcing him. He is refusing to pay spouse maintenance but is demanding half of my hubby’s life insurance if he dies……?????? Can someone be that stupid and greedy?? He had put a lock on the garage entry door that can only be locked/unlocked with a key on both sides. Scared my daughter to death (us too, what was the reason? What was he trying to do to her?) 

After she kicked him out, well, the police ‘escorted’ him out, he came back and spit chewing tobacco into a gallon of the babies milk. Isn’t that child endangerment???? 

Daughter got a job, now I’m watching the babies daily. I love them dearly but a 1 yr old and a 2 year old in a 5th wheel is pretty hard.

Last week at work daughter was sole witness to a gang fight. 5 people shot to death along with a baby. Three shots where taken at her stand. Police think they where hoping to get her out of the way. Now there’s a price on her head…,,

What is this world coming to? I can’t breathe. I keep waiting for something else to happen. So far, we have had 3 quiet days in a row now……and I am petrified. What else can go wrong? I’m scared to find out, scared it’ll come soon. I don’t want more to happen. I don’t want to live this kind of life, even though it is NOTHING we have done, NOTHING we looked for, or searched out. 

I’m so tired. I have so many nightmares. I have to take xanax to leave the house. I’m scared to talk on the phone. Text is great, but I cannot talk on the stupid thing.

When I’m writing this down, I’m thinking “huh, it doesn’t seem like much” but it’s all life altering things. Major things that change who a person is. I can’t catch a breath, I can’t seem to get my feet under me. I just want to Crawl in bed under the covers.

I feel heartbroken for my wonderful hubby. I want to be the fantastic wife he deserves, how he wakes up every day to go to work, is beyond me… he is amazing. I don’t understand how get functions and I cant…..:’-(. He needs better.

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